Choosing your bridesmaids wisely!

For the next fortnight we are talking about Brides and will be posting tips, images and blog posts all which will help you plan your wedding day!
As women, we do have a tendency to plan our weddings before they happen….perhaps even before we have met Mr. Right. Nights of girly fun and usually some girly drinks could result in you having about 12 of your friends accompany you up the aisle before the ring is even on the finger. I know personally I have about 8 so far……..
Bridesmaids have an important job and so they should be the people you feel most fit, most deserving and most want to be your bridesmaid. Dressing up and running around after the bride isn’t everyone’s idea of fun. So here are a few tips on what you should consider when making the big decision. It is probably one of the first decisions you will make before you get swept under by the wedding hype!

1) Don’t be rash and make a wish list!

Just because it is now time to choose the members of your bridal party there is no need to make the decision overnight. People don’t presume because you promised them years ago that they could be your bridesmaid that you actually meant it. People will expect to be asked again so think of yourself going into this with a clean slate. Sit down and create a list of the people that you and your fiancé would like to consider and then you can strike (does this sound harsh?!) people off as you consider some of the following points!

2) No pressure or feelings of obligations please!

The choosing of your bridesmaids is probably best discussed with no one!! Especially mothers or mother in laws who would like to add your second cousin once removed because she has never been a bridesmaid. Discuss this with your fiancé or your best friend who is definitely already a bridesmaid. This is ultimately your decision so try not to be swayed. You will regret it if you have the wrong people as your bridesmaids. Do not stress about it. If your friends truly value your friendship with them they will understand why you pick who you are going to.

3) Consider life situations

Here’s a good one – and it is very important. Figure out if any of your potential maids might be 8 months pregnant at the time or just have a newborn baby. It is unrealistic for these girls to be be fully able to be a bridesmaid on the day and they may not want to be in a dress either, you or the person involved will feel guilty either way. Also, if you have any friends who live abroad or are moving it is going to be hard for them to be around for fittings or for general aiding in the preparation of the wedding. These people will definitely understand why they weren’t chosen over others.

4) Size of your wedding

There is a rule of thumb that exists in the size of your bridal party and the number of guests you have. One groomsman and one bridesmaid per 50 guests. Of course it is your decision how many you have there is no concrete rule but if you are having an intimate wedding in a small space 10 bridesmaids could look just a little ridiculous!

5)The role and its responsibility

Being a bridesmaid isn’t just about looking pretty in pictures you are in hindsight a ‘maid’ to the bride. You are there to help her, as much as it is an honor she needs your help and your input. People who are very much tied up in their own lives won’t be much use to you – they would expect as much out of you as you will of them. Try to have at least one person who is a great organiser, always a plus point!

6) No asking back!

Just because you were bridesmaid for  your friend doesn’t mean you need to ask her back. If that was the case weddings would be out of control with the amount of bridesmaids. She will have been through the ordeal of choosing so will probably understand the pain of the decision.

7) Other significant roles

It may not be as important as being a bridesmaid but there are so many other roles you could give to your friends or family that may be more of an interest to them. Ask someone to take some additional pictures, or be in charge of the bathroom baskets, sing or play a piece of your favourite music or perform a reading or speech. Some of these things can be more personal and meaningful and then they are still involved!
Once you have made the decision be happy with it, it is your wedding day no one elses (bar the groom but sure yours really 🙂 I guarantee you will be happier with making the decision that suits you most. How about doing something fun for your bridesmaids when you choose them like sending them a ‘be my bridesmaid kit’!

Photo Credits: Purple bridesmaid dresses via R.E.M Video and Photography, 80 bridesmaids via The Knot, Bridesmaids in pink via Weddbook, Circle of bridesmaids via The Little White Dress, Be my maid kit via BridalGuide.

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Say Yes to Another Dress: Choosing the Right Bridesmaid Dress Infographic

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