Top Tips for wedding invitation etiquette!

love story inviteAs everyone knows, forming a guest list for your wedding is quite difficult. Euro signs appear in your head every time that another guest gets added to the list! Also, should we invite relatives we don’t really know? Before I continue on a list of numerous questions that come to mind I’m going to give you an insight into what is correct and what isn’t when organising your wedding invites. Your invitation holds a lot of information that essentially forms your wedding day so it really needs to be displayed perfectly!!
When should save the date cards and wedding invites be sent out?
Save the date cards are a great way of letting friends and family know to keep a particular day free or organise any travel plans that may need to be made. These should be sent out six to eight months before the wedding day. They hold very little information however so proper wedding invites should be sent approx. six to eight weeks before the wedding. This ensures that you will (hopefully) receive your RSVP’s back in time to let your venue or caterers know your final numbers!
When should you order your wedding stationary and how many?
Ideally as soon as you have all your dates with the church and venue finalised but four months before the wedding should suffice.
Each guest/family/couple will need their own invite. Order a few extras in case of inevitable mistakes.

When should you expect your RSVP’s to be back?


Ideally, all RSVP’s should be back two to three weeks before the wedding. Any RSVP’s not back before then, it is appropriate to give the guest a call to check if they are coming.
Who do you send your invites to?
This question seems silly but should you send an invite to your mother or your bridesmaid for example? Every family member should receive an invite whether you know if they are able to attend or not.
Do we let guests know about the gift registry on the invitation?
Hmmmm, tough one….how will they know otherwise? However the answer is no. It is considered impolite to be asking for gifts on your invitations. Don’t worry word of mouth should cover this issue though a lot of people are giving money gifts these days.
That ‘plus one’ question!
You are not obliged to ask every guest if they would like to bring a guest. If your guest is married or in a serious relationship, his/her plus one will be named on the invitation. Otherwise, it is definitely not expected. This could just result in a very big wedding at a higher cost with a lot of people there that you may not know!!
Some couples don’t wish to have children at their weddings. You have to respect everyone couples own wishes on their wedding days. If you are not inviting children, do not write on your invitation ‘No children please’ – this could come across as rude and offend those with children. Simply do not write any children in the name section of the invitation and presume that your guests will draw the right assumption.
Informing your guests of the dress code
Typically the style of your invitation should imply dress code. If you are having a Black tie event then your invitation is more likely to be classic and a laid back affair may be more querky and eccentric. However, the bottom right hand corner of the invitation should be where you would include any necessary information on attire. Also a point to consider – never write on your invitations that your bridesmaid or mother got their dress in a particular shop so you shouldn’t shop there. Yes, people have done this before, it is highly inappropriate.
RSVP envelopes
RSVP’s should always be sent to the person who is receiving the response cards (who is hosting the wedding/your wedding planner). Return labels should be on the back of the invitation envelope with the designated address. Envelopes with the address and postage on should be included in the invitation.
Wedding Website
Information on a wedding website for the event can be included on your save the date cards and on your inviations. Just a simple will suffice. This will give you the opportunity to include further information on the wedding that is not deemed appropriate on your invitations.
Titles of your guests – a few points here!
– Guests who have titles (e.g. reverend or doctor) should not be abbreviated.
– In a couple where only one member is a Doctor they are the only ones who get this title, their spouses get the normal title of ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’. If both parties are Doctors, write ‘Doctors’ and then their family name.
– Where both in the couple are professionals the wifes name comes first.
– For couples in serious relationships, the female name comes first.
– A boy under 12 is Master and a girl under 17 is Miss.
something blue invites
How to word your invites in relation to parental separation or who is paying for the wedding
– If the bride’s parents are married: e.g. Mr & Mrs Jack Smith request the company……
– If the bride’s parents are separated: e.g. Mr Jack Smith & Mrs Jane Smith request the company……
– If bride’s parents are divorced and mother remarried (and both hosting the wedding together): e.g. Mr Jack Smyth & Mrs Jane Murphy request the company of……
– Bride’s parents divorced, mother deceased/absent and father remarried: e.g. Mr & Mrs Jack Smith request the company of……
– Bride’s parents divorced, mother remarried, father deceased of absent: Mr & Mrs David Murphy request the company of……..
– If bride’s parents are both deceased, grooms parents are to host the wedding.
– Bride’s mother widowed and not remarried: e.g. Mrs Jack Smith requests the company……
– If bride and groom are ‘hosting’ themselves, their own names should head the invitation.
If you are having an informal affair, it is appropriate to drop titles if you see fit.
Extra inserts
Any additional information for example directions to the wedding or list of potential places to stay can be included on an insert in the envelope but are not to be written on the invitation itself. Evening invitations are to be included in the envelope also.
Last of all, take your time with your invitations, if you are going to be writing over a hundred you may need help. It is going to get tiring so give yourself plenty of time and plan ahead! Also, try not to have snacks or drinks near your wedding stationary, accidents do happen!!
evening invite
Images of invitations are from Lots of Love invitations

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  1. by Jimmy on September 26, 2013  1:54 pm Reply

    Love this!

  2. by Atul Gupta on November 21, 2013  10:43 am Reply

    Brilliant!!! nice article you have written. You have covered almost every point in form of question, love the way of making post easy to understand and read. Your post is very informative and helpful for the other. I also suggest your blog to my friends and relative to gain some knowledge about the wedding invitation and also how to manage wedding and what should we remember. Thanks for posting. :)

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