7 Questions to ask yourself before hiring a ‘Friendor’ for your wedding.

Wedding Planning



We’ve all got them, friends with talents. Some might even be professionals [now they are the real friendors you want!] But, for the most part who I’m referring to here are the kind hearted [well meaning] friends who enjoy taking pictures, baking cakes, sowing dresses and pruning flowers.

As you watch your wedding budget slowing creep up to the equivalent of the deposit for your house, or even the mortgage itself, it can be tempting to wonder if ‘getting a mate to do it’ might be cheaper and it might seem that it would, initially. Or you might even have a number of [generous] friends offering their services. If so here are 7 questions you should ask yourself before hiring a friendor:

1. Are they your ‘insert appropriate wedding vendor category here’ or are they your invited guest who happens to be taking your photos/ driving your to the church/ baking your wedding cake. – There is a difference – a big one!

2. Do they have the proper skills/ talent/ experience to preform/ produce the wedding service they have so kindly offered? [ A wedding isn’t a dress rehearsal – if they forget the extra camera battery or to bake the cake for the correct length of time, your wedding might not be the fairy tale you dreamt.]

3. Are you paying them for their service or is this a gift?

4. What happens if you are not happy with the results of their work? They are a friendor after all, how will you complain and or ask for more, or something different [and still remain friends if they get offended?!]

5. Do they have insurance – most likely they don’t – what happens if they inadvertently [or even directly] cause an accident causing harm to you, the venue, property or a guest? Who pays up? -Most likely you!

6. Will you have a contract, or a formal agreement for what they are providing – if your hired a professional you most certainly would!

7. Do you have a back up plan if they get sick or can’t come? They’re [most likely] not a professional/ working in the industry so wouldn’t have a partner/ back up vendor they would use regularly.

Lots to ponder there… and I’m sure I’ve left some things out too… I suppose what I am really saying here is, professionals are [in my opinion] the route to go, but I appreciate that that may not always be possible or within budget for everyone, and that’s ok – but if you have gone the friendor route – for what ever reason, be prepared, be realistic, and don’t be a afraid to make things a little formal… a little contract wouldn’t go astray – I suggest you include:

  • The date, start and end times of the service, leaving time for setup and breakdown.
  • The address of where the wedding will take place.
  • The exact service provided, with a breakdown of goods or specifics.
  • The fee [if any], and when and how it should be paid
  • What you are required to supply them with and when.
  • A Plan B if they can’t make it.

And as always [even without friendors] make sure you have Wedding Insurance!

Share this:

Green Wedding Inspiration for St. Patrick's Day!
Stunningly simple Altar candle arrangment


  1. by Claire, mrs2be on March 16, 2011  12:16 pm Reply

    Hi Bláithín,

    Interesting post. You made some great points.

    Unfortunately, I don't think many of today's cash-strapped brides and grooms think of what could go wrong when using "Friendors".

  2. by Bláithín on March 16, 2011  10:14 pm Reply

    Claire - hopefully they will think a little more now :)

    Thanks Magda!

  3. by Richard Finlay on March 17, 2011  1:33 am Reply

    Pertinent post. Thanks for your efforts in promoting professionalism in the wedding trade! :-)

  4. by Lisa O'Dwyer on March 17, 2011  8:56 pm Reply

    Terrific post! I was one of those people who gave my nice SLR camera to friends to take pictures at my civil ceremony wedding 7 years ago. We hadn't much money and I didn't think much about the consequences because I thought my nice "camera" could take the picture.
    Now we have over-flashed snapshot pictures of our wedding, and in a lot of them we look very awkward and were probably saying "cheese"! Terrible, terrible mistake I can never do over. Unless we get married again :)
    One of the reasons I decided to start my own business :)

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published.